Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
