Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
