All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
