shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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