Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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