i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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