How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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