when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize