Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
