The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
