She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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