she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
