What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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