Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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