Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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