Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
