Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
