I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
