I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I have already put on my inside pants.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
