Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
