i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
