And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
