On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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