HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
