What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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