Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Shame - the story of my life.
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