Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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