Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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