like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
