i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
