I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize