My room smells like vodka and shame
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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