we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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