Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize