i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
