so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
