she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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