Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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