It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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