That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
