Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
fuck your aforementioned shoe
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
