I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
