Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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