i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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