I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
