so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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