you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
