Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just had sex on a roof
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dicks are not precious.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
