Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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