we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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