so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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