idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
