Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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