he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
