I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
