You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just gift wrapped bread.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
