i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
