and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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