tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
